22-year old Indian girl shares about her sex fears before marriage
Sex – It can mean different things to different people and for most of Indian women, it isn’t something they are very comfortable with, at least initially. It won’t be wrong to say that we have a cultural inhibition to open talks about sex and this leads to deep-rooted fears about it. Fears take time to dispel but when they exist, they can take various forms.
A 22-year old Indian girl shares her sex fears as she was heading into an arranged marriage and was a virgin.
I WASN’T CONFIDENT:
“I have a very peculiar sense of my own body, something I wasn’t very confident about. I thought my vaginal hair were as hard as grass, my tummy fat was like Santa’s paunch, my vagina wasn’t very pleasant smelling and I, for that matter, could never be sexually wild. I am a Cancerian, if that’s an excuse to my self-criticism but I never thought I would make a good sex partner. To my utter surprise, six months into marriage, I have fairly wild nights and I love orgasms, a thing that I only discovered after my marriage. Here are the five fears about sex that I had as I was never given an open talk about sex. Though my family wasn’t exactly orthodox, still sex-talk wasn’t a family thing.
I NEVER THOUGHT MY BODY WAS SEXY:
I always thought that my body just didn’t know how to have a sexual appeal. Although, there were times when I felt I looked good, but that was with clothes on. When the flabs on my stomach showed, my body hair sprung up like wires and my hairy got greasy after a day of not washing them, I never thought someone could find me sexy. After I got married, I learnt that sex wasn’t about how we both just connected physically. Sex became a need, a beautiful one. And TBH, at the end of the day, when we both were exhausted, all we wanted was a good cuddle and sex, regardless of body hair/odor.
Also Read : These are the 6 sex related questions to ask your partner before getting married
I ALWAYS BELIEVED I COULDN’T ORGASM:
I always thought I couldn’t orgasm. It sounded like a word that came from across seven seas. As a fact, I had never even masturbated before marriage. I can’t explain what an orgasm is like even now that I know what it is but I think its unexplainably is what made me think I couldn’t ever do it. Now, I can’t imagine my life without orgasms. Bonus: It makes my skin glow.
I THOUGHT I WOULD GET PREGNANT AS SOON AS I HAVE SEX:
With a bright career ahead of me, I didn’t want pregnancy for the next three years at least. I always thought that as soon as I have sex, I will get pregnant. So, my gynaecologist explained me various contraceptive options I had and assured me that even condoms can prevent pregnancy by 98 per cent and that’s quite enough.
I ALWAYS ASSOCIATED SEX WITH GUILT:
For me, sex was a wrong. You don’t indulge in it besides if you want kids. And even then, you shouldn’t relish it. Now, I know I was wrong. Sex is healthy and keeps me happier. Though I personally can’t prove it, I feel it keeps me stress-free too.
I THOUGHT I DIDN’T NEED IT:
That isn’t exactly a fear or may be it is a veiled fear. But I always thought that why do you need something when you don’t even know what it is. I thought I would die platonic and sex is simply overrated. Though it sure may be overrated but I learnt this: sex adds beauty to your relationship and don’t say you don’t need it till you know what it holds for you.
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