Life was not the same for me since October 2018. It all started with an itch. Yes! you read it right. An itch that covered the whole of my body but left no marks or rashes. The ‘no marks, no rashes’ was sure a relief at the beginning. And I was sure the itch would cease soon. But it didn’t. It got worse as the days passed and it started to drive me crazy. I sat and scratched day and night. I kept running from one doctor to another in the hope of a diagnosis, to find the root cause.
I was ‘diagnosed’ with a variety of allergies; skin, dust, water, and whatnot. Steroids and anti allergens became regulars in my diet. But nothing seemed to help. I continued to scratch and my fingers started failing after a while. They became numb from all the scratching. And that’s when I started using ‘tools’ to scratch. Cutlery and combs helped me big time in scratching. But eventually, it started to give me wounds and marks. It goes without saying that it was painful.
The last doctor I met before the actual diagnosis was a dermatologist at a renowned medical college in Kerala who confirmed the itching had nothing to do with my body but my ‘depressed mind’. She prescribed anti-depressants for me.
I was now ready to fight depression. I surfed through YouTube and Google to find ways to overcome depression. I worked hard to bring in positive thoughts and did tons of exercise and meditation to help my body produce happy hormones. But all was in vain. I continued to scratch.
I tried to make my sleepless nights productive by doing everything I could including taking care of my skin which had started turning rough and pigmented. Thanks to my skincare routines at the early hours, I saw a small lump above my right collar bone. I should have actually called out ‘Eureka’ as finding that lump and getting it tested was the first step to the correct diagnosis but all I could do was stare at it with a confused mind.
…………….To be continued