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‘I didn’t feel like living anymore’: Deepika Padukone on battling depression

Mumbai: In a recent episode of Amitabh Bachchan’s quiz show, Kaun Banega Crorepati 13, Deepika Padukone opened up about her battle with depression. Together with filmmaker-choreographer Farah Khan, she appeared on the show. When she was diagnosed with depression in 2014, she felt weird that people did not talk about it. Additionally, she stated that she used to feel empty inside and felt like she wasn’t ‘loving anymore.’

She said, ‘I was diagnosed with depression in 2014. I used to feel weird that people don’t talk about it. It was a stigma and people don’t even know much about it. During that time, I realised that if I am experiencing this, then there would be many people out there facing depression as well. My ambition in life was that if I could save just one life, then my purpose was solved. We have come a long way now. Suddenly mujhe aise laga ki mere paet mein ek ajeeb sa feeling hota tha, ek khaalipan mein mehsoos karti thi (I used to get a very weird feeling, like there was an emptiness inside me).’ The actress added, ‘I didn’t feel like going to work or meeting anybody. I did not want to go out. I didn’t feel like doing anything. Many times, I don’t know if I should say this but I didn’t feel like living anymore. I felt like I had no purpose’, she said when Big B asked how she knew she was depressed.

Read also: 10-year-old dies after having biryani at an eatery in TN, 29 hospitalized

Additionally, she recalled an incident when her parents had come to visit her in Mumbai and when they were leaving for the airport, she suddenly began to cry. She said, ‘My parents had come to visit me in Mumbai from Bengaluru once. So, when they were leaving for the airport, I started crying suddenly. My mother noticed that there was something wrong with me. She felt something was off with the way I was crying. It was not the usual cry. The way I was crying, it was like a cry for help. She asked me to visit a psychiatrist. I did that and recovered after many months. But mental health is something that you can’t forget about even after you recover. It is something you have to take care of. I have introduced some lifestyle changes now.’ Deepika revealed to the world in 2015 that she suffered from depression and sought help.

Meanwhile, for her career, she has Pathan opposite Shah Rukh Khan, Fighter with Hrithik Roshan, a cinematic adaptation of Mahabharata, the Hindi remake of The Intern alongside Amitabh Bachchan, Project-K with Prabhas, and Shakun Batra’s next alongside Siddhant Chaturvedi and Ananya Panday.

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