Paper clipping is a term used to describe a person you have previously dated or had a romantic connection with suddenly reappears in your life by liking or interacting with your social media posts, sending messages, or showing general interest, even though they have previously ghosted or disappeared without explanation. It can be incredibly frustrating and confusing.
The term was first coined in the early 2000s by dating coach Evan Marc Katz. He defined it as ‘the idea of paper-clipping someone in your life without actually having contact with them.’
There are a few reasons why someone might choose to paperclip you. It could be that they are scared to fully commit to the relationship and want the option of being able to reach out when they feel like it. It could also be that they don’t want to fully let go of the relationship and hope that it will spark back into life if they keep you around on the periphery.
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It could also be a sign that the other person is not over you, but doesn’t want to face their emotions or admit it to you, so they keep you around as a security blanket.
This kind of behaviour is not healthy for either party involved. The best thing to do is be clear and direct about your feelings and expectations. Let them know that you are not interested in continuing the relationship and then don’t engage with any of their attempts at contact.
If they persistently try to contact you, consider blocking them from all forms of communication. It may also be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you are going through so that you have some emotional support during this difficult time.
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